Love letter to my daughter


You turned 1 year and 6 months old recently. It’s crazy watching you grew up. Times flies so fast, but with you, I feel cheated.

You don’t know this, but you saved my life. Deciding to have you was one of the easiest decision I’ve ever had, and I’m an indecisive person, so that speaks a lot. It felt almost natural - like I was meant to have you at that time, the right time, the right place. I was in a terrible place before I had you. I felt so lost, more than I’ve ever been, I was confused, I was in a bad shape mentally and physically - that all I ever did back then was yoga, cause it gives me that peaceful feeling and like I was still in control. I lost weight, even. I was in my pre-wedding weight, which I’ve never been since I had your brothers.

Then you happened. And I thought I was going to be even worse - “what were you thinking, having a baby like it’s going to solve your problems” - but ironically, it did. You did. I was in so much clarity once I had you. Sure, carrying you was 7 different kinds of hell for me, all the vomits and headache and backache you wouldn’t ever imagine - but inside my head, I was in a much better place. So it is true, baby solves everything.

Then you came into the world. Not a smooth delivery but you’ve been surviving so well since then, Masya Allah. I was imagining all sorts of problems due to the complication, but at 1 year and 6 months old, look at you now! I couldn’t be happier watching you thriving each day in your own little bubble, and I wish you would stay in that bubble forever. With me. And guess what? Once again, that wish came true - look at us now. Waking up to your sweet chubby face every day is my biggest win. Never in my life did I ever imagine one day I would be a stay at home mom, catering to her kids’ needs with no worry about work at all - God definitely heard my prayers.

So once again, thank you for saving my life. You’re so special in many ways, and I will make sure you grow up remembering that in your heart.



my brain dump.