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me
Malaysian in Tokyo. Welcome to my happy space!

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being a mommy
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From an engineer to a housewife

 It’s something that my friends always ask me,

“How do you transition from an engineer to a housewife?”

And I wonder why they would be concerned, because I think I have found my calling in lifeπŸ˜‚ at least for now.



The biggest change for me is time. I almost never had any time to play with the kids at home once I’m back from work, and being so tired they were always left to play by themselves. Sure, I tried to put a little bit of time here and there, sacrificing my energy for rest and sleep - which was why I almost always needed my me-time.

But now? Time is all I have. And I treasure it so much, you have no idea. I almost feel bad for my husband cause he’s always back at home late in the evening (7 pm is considered late or not?), all tired and exhausted but still putting on a brave smiley face for the kids cause they’re always lit up when he’s home. Because I’ve been there, and now I see what I was missing before.

Do I miss being at work? Yes and no. I miss the technical part of it, the learning curve, the excitement of completing a document I worked so hard to produce and the excitement of doing new things I’ve never done before. But I don’t miss the gender bias, especially in my line of work. I don’t miss a lot of things.

I entered my previous company with no hope of staying for a long time, yet I stayed for 10 years. But those 10 years were enough for me, and I would not trade them for anything, despite everything.

Now, I feel so liberated. I do a lot of things with the kids now, they’re basically my life partners. I have so many options on what to do next - furthering my PhD, or doing MBA, or apply for engineering jobs, or finally put my foot down to be a writer? Having the options alone is a privilege not many have, so I’m cherishing it everyday. I mean, I get to blog now! That alone puts my former self to shame haha lol.

To put it into perspective, I basically get to wait for Taylor Swift new album Midnights precisely at the time it was scheduled to be out, with a fully charged Bose headphone and my iPad by my side to be among the first to listen to it. While my kids were in front of my eyes watching the TV, having their snacks. That to me is a whole other world satisfaction. And then I get to do laundry and folding clothes and cooking with the headphone on all day, blasting the album. Ahhhh the bliss.

I have no idea what my future will bring. But I hope (and wish) I get to experience the happiness I feel everyday, for a long time. 

People say my husband is lucky, because I support his dream all the way across the continent. I’d say I’m lucky because my husband supports me and works hard enough for us to have the ability to leave our hometowns. 

Making our own homes in a foreign country is hard. But it’s a life I’ve always longed for. 

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