anticipating Shahrul Jr

Funny thing happened today.

Baby has been moving a lot lately; but no surprise there since it'll be less than a month for his arrival. My gynae has advised that I'd be feeling his kicks a lot as there'll be smaller space in there with him getting bigger, that sometimes I find it hard to fall asleep when I can feel he moves so violently in there.

Sort of telling me to start practising not having enough sleep lol.

Sometimes when he kicks, I would take Shahrul's hands and put them on my belly just so he would feel it too - his expression is priceless everytime. It's become our night time activity on the couch haha.

But today, I had a meeting with the boss in the morning. Rushed to the tower early in the morning despite having sore throat, waited for other colleagues to arrive, met the boss in his office.

There were just the 4 of us, including the boss. I was of course seated across from him (being the most junior in the team..). The discussion was in his office, at the 4-seat round table.

Then I felt the baby move..violently. It was one of those punches and jabs that made my uterus wall all tingly and at times, hurt.

A video posted by Zatil Aqmar (@zatilaqmar) on

It was so obvious that I couldn't help placing my hands on my belly, hoping they won't notice anything haha. Don't know why he was moving like this though, usually he'd be asleep (or resting?) in the morning and start kicking in the evening.

But.. I never imagined moments like these could make me go all coo-ey. I'm not maternal; I rarely ever entertain kids but being in the final trimester now changes how I feel about pregnancy and having kids. And having a family.

"Do you think we're ready to have kids on our own?"

It was always my dilemma. I'm so so so not ready, I kept telling myself.

"Of course lah. We're 28 this year, you know how old we'll be when he's starting high school or college? I don't want to be in my 50s and having teenager kids, that'd be tough"

Hahah what a good reasoning really. But that's how he always feels; wanting to have as many kids we can while we're still young.

 "But I don't know how to manage our own kids..when we're still managing ourselves"
"We can help each other out, don't worry"

And gave me a big bear hug.

Suddenly having a zuriat (and many many more) with this good man I have kinda sounds awesome.

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my brain dump.