my brain dump

And it was the most beautiful wedding I've ever witnessed.

Or maybe it's the hormones talking.

I couldn't go to her nikah (still regretting it - nikah is supposed to be the most important event of all!) because I needed to see my gynae, so I made sure we made it to her reception.

She is one of my oldest friend - Syena, her and I have been together for years since high school when we used to go to tuitions in Penang together, hanging out at Pacific (it was once one of the cool hangout places in Penang) and Prangin Mall and Gurney Drive, hopping on the bus and taxis to go to best makan-makan place in town. And each time Syena' brother or sister or Farah's would accompany us because their parents made sure we went out with the siblings' company - and not some other creepy guys.

Our parents know each other that they needed no further info every time our names came up. Syena told me once,

"I could use your name to go date with my boyfriend. Just tell them I'm going out with Atil and they'd let me out of the door"

Which she did, once, apparently. Haha.

Knowing Farah, I'm thankful that she found someone who'd treat her like how this guy does - she's been through so much that now, all I wanted to see was for her to be happy. And I know this guy would do the honor.

Almost teared up when she walked down the aisle.


The reception was held at Laman Kayangan, Shah Alam. It was my first time there; and was so amazed by the decor and everything - so beautifully done! The canopy, the white curtains (?), the lights; I would've made my wedding there if I knew.

The bride and groom.


Farah Whatsapp-ed us after the wedding and asked,

"Don't you think he was too good-looking? He's stealing my spotlight!"

HAHAHA.

Well, to be fair, they're BOTH good-looking - there, you can rest now, Farah.

It isn't just that her new husband is handsome - he's one of the kindest person too. He was smiling (brightly!) throughout the wedding, not showing the slightest tiresome on his face, and greeted everyone from the bride's side. I've seen some couples during the wedding too exhausted to even smile at their new families and friends they've just married into, and it wasn't a good sight.

(Hope I did the same during my wedding)

Never knew that it'd show up this early in pregnancy as I thought I'd start showing only at 5 months, so I started to freak out. Syena (the only one among us who has a kid, so she's the one I'd go to nowadays) told me not to worry and that certain people shows early; some doesn't.

Better stay away from empire cut, from now on. T.T

Nowadays, most people would ask me if I had any cravings yet.

When I said none so far, most of the women would roll their eyes and went,

"Mehh just wait and see after a few more weeks.."

But really, I think I have one craving so far.

These.

And it didn't help that it was advertised at every Shell station we go, proudly showcasing the cute little figurines at the counter and the cashier guy would ask me every time if I wanted one.

I'm not much of a collector, but when it comes to Tokidoki, I have this sweet spot for them. It brings back memories from Japan when I got my first Tokidoki bag and its complimentary figurine keychain, which I gave to the husband, then boyfriend. He treasured it so much, he still keep it until now.

And Hello Kitty..I used to be so obsessed over them. Years ago.

So last few weeks, I gave in and bought 3 of them.

The one I wanted the most was Cactus Kitty, but the cashier guy said we can't choose which to buy (they came in a black box which you can't peek into), so you basically have to redha with what you get. You're allowed to exchange for a different one if you got the same one, however.

So I proudly put these 3 on the husband's car's dashboard for a while now, completely ignoring the husband's remarks about them being "childish" and not appropriate for his supposed sports car. He called them my cravings, and has been telling people that -_____-"

Then, I fell sick last Monday and was on MC for two days. And this morning when I got into the car to go to work, I found that there are two new additions to the clan.


One of them was the Cactus Kitty I wanted!

The husband, albeit making fun of me for wanting these "silly things", secretly bought them for me the day before and neatly organized them on the dashboard with the other 3.


So there are 5 of them now, which I think would someday be in our baby's possession. Haha.

I never understood people's obsession with figurines, but I get it now. I even had a dream one night that the husband actually rented a Shell station all to myself just so I could get as many Tokidoki figurines I want, and he held a barbecue party at the station for the attendants hahaha WTF.

Was so touched. I have the sweetest husband ever!

(Though it might have something to do with me being hormonal the night before - he made a comment about toasts I made for him, and that night I cried to God about how my husband doesn't like my toasts and how I'm such a terrible wife, etc. Darn pregnancy hormones)

Nevertheless, I might be hormonal now but I'll surely remember his sweet gestures this time. Thank you for making this wife so happy!

Last post on this one.

I've asked the photographer to take a full back picture of the dress, but he must've forgotten about it T.T Mental note, if you have a specific pose you wanted to do on your wedding, make sure you tell your photographer all about it!


So here it is.
We were at Man Kajang's showroom trying on the outfits for nikah when he took this picture.

"See, the tail makes you look taller"

Pfftt. But I agree!

Working with Abg Man was anything but difficult. He did our outfits in just a few weeks after getting the fabrics, and the husband (then fiancé) was really happy with his baju melayu - and that's a good testament since he's very picky when it comes to these things. Lol.

Some things I've learned from the preparation :

1. Set up appointments with your designer way earlier, because this will help you choose and try and error many aspects of your outfits. The designer will come up with a handful of ideas which isn't likely to happen if you're running out of time.
2. If possible, bring your designer together for fabric-hunting - or at least ask him to bring you along. This will avoid unpleasant surprises in the future (especially when you're particular about the materials for your dress)
3. When making deposits, ask for a list of what you're entitled for in black and white (if he hasn't given you any; most designers will prepare a sheet). This will help you track what you've paid for in case there's any misunderstanding.
4. Ask the designer what to wear/bring during your first fitting! Gurdle, push-up bra, camisole etc.
5. Pay attention to your veil too, and ask the designer's opinion on whether you should wear heavily beaded veil with no crown, or a simple veil with a crown, or anything else he'd suggest. 
6. When it comes to scarf to wear for nikah, make sure the designer provided one with a material close to your dress (preferably). My personal lesson learnt!

If you need his contact number, leave me a message I'd be happy to recommend him. Mention my name, you might get a special price too :)

I'm determined to finish my wedding prep posts at least before I give birth, so here's one of them. Had to re-browse the wedding photos to recall some of the events (pregnancy brain sigh).

It's a longg one, I warn you. Thank God I didn't puke.


For the reception dais, I decided to do a little bit differently from my sisters.


Most caterer vendors in Penang do make dais for pelamin and the caterer food usually comes with their own tables, table setting, pengantin's high table, VIP tables and canopies - it comes as a package where you would get discounted price as a whole.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't decide on caterer. I had no time to go back to Penang, set up meetings with the caterers and discuss on the all of the above - food selection is not my forte; it's my Mum's, so at the very last minute I decided to let her decide.

Was very very nervous on that - because as much as I trust her instinct on other choices (e.g my makeup artist), my concern was on the canopies and dais, mostly. I knew she won't understand my preferences for both, as she tends to get a bit carried away with choices and all I wanted was a simple all white dais with lots of flowers.

So I asked her to send me the caterer's catalog for pelamin dais, table setting and canopies. I was disappointed.

Nothing the caterer has offered was up to my liking, and Mum already booked the caterer for the food.

So I began searching online for good vendors for canopies, hoping I'd find one who can give me equally good pelamin dais for a good price in a short period of time. Then, out of a sudden my cousin sent me a link on a vendor based in Sungai Petani specializing in canopies - she has witnessed one of their works and one look at their Facebook site made me fell in love. They have a wide range of canopy types - they even make transparent ones!

In Penang, transparent canopies are not that common compared to KL, so I knew this vendor has their specialty.

So I contacted them, inquired about the their package range, received response almost immediately complete with an official sheet of all their packages. Best of all, the price range is very affordable (because Penang rate is not as expensive as KL) so I settled for them, completely relieved I didn't have to take the caterer's package.

Color scheme

About a month before the wedding, the vendor sent me the sketch and plan of the canopies and dais. I told her the color theme which was dusty pink and grey, and it was up to her to use the color scheme for the whole wedding.

Wedding theme

The whole theme was fairytale wedding and I asked her to use a lot of white and flowers for the dais (leaving chair ribbons and wraps for dusty pink and grey), but she used the colors for a bit of the flowers for fear of looking too white and plain, and I'm happy with the change. I still have the white I wanted!

Dais accessories

What I love the most about the canopy was, they also provided under layers! It was one of the important things I stressed to Mum about hiring a different vendor for the canopies - I wanted one which can provide the under layers under the canopies to make them look more appropriate. The vendor did a good job putting them all up together - even came with chandeliers in the middle of the under layer for the dais canopy and pink flower bouquet for the guest canopies.

Pengantin's high table

Came with the canopy package. I was relieved that they designed the whole setting matched with the dais - something I would not have gotten had I asked the caterer to do it for me.


I think the most critical thing about hiring two different vendors for food and canopy is integrating both sides to achieve a synchronized result. For example, we had a problem with VIP tables which we discovered a day before the wedding - apparently the dome set (where the caterer put the VIP food) was too big for the VIP tables, which was provided by the canopy vendor. The tables came with the canopy package, so we didn't take the caterer's VIP tables - which would have fit the dome set.

The solution? We managed to persuade the caterer to provide THEIR VIP tables, while asking the canopy vendor to take back theirs at no cost. It's not nice to change things at the very last minute, but there was nothing we could do to rectify the problem - and we're so lucky that both sides are happy to cooperate.

Even though some things have changed, everyone was happy with the result on the wedding day. Everything looks perfect! The food was amazing, I had everything I wanted and relieved that Mum accepted my decision to go for different vendors. And to top it all, the cost I paid to both vendors combined are still less than what my sisters had spent for theirs (they took both the canopy and catering from the same vendor). Big achievement for me!


If you're looking for a good canopy vendor in Penang or Kedah, go look for Unggu Violet Bridal Gallery, based in Sungai Petani. They specialized in canopy mostly, but they also do dais (they do collaborations with Zaha Wedding Planner sometimes).

I had no problem with their customer service, they even came to my house a few weeks before the wedding to see my house lawn area to ensure their canopy plan works. Recommended for their prompt service.

I'm almost done with first trimester, which I think every woman should be given a medal for.

When I first found out I'm pregnant, people told me to be strong and patient as it is the most challenging period ever in pregnancy.

Well in my case, challenging is an understatement.

Let me tell you a bit about my first trimester.

Fatigue
I can't remember when, but I started to head to bed by 9 pm, completely abandoning the husband in front of the TV (as per our usual routine). I started to feel so so tired that some nights I didn't even bother to brush my teeth before bed - and the husband would find me already snoring in bed.

One time during the weekend, I was reading pregnancy book on the couch and fell asleep. Husband was in the next room performing his prayer, and I fell asleep so fast that when he returned to the living room I was already lying with the book still in my hands haha.

Later that day, he showed me a picture of me he took while I was sleeping. -____-"

Nausea
The most difficult thing I've been facing for the past weeks - I was puking 24/7. All the time. (In fact, even until now the puking hasn't stopped) It started after about a week or two since I discovered I was pregnant.

I've Googled how to deal with morning sickness and did everything recommended, but the puking somehow is still here. So far I've survived a day or two of not puking, but mostly every day I'd puke at least 2 times; usually when I reach home from work and late evening. The list of food and drinks that turn my appetite off just keeps growing - at one point, I figured I'd be better off just having chicken soup every single day.

On the first day of Ramadan, my husband took me to the bazaar nearby to check out the food. 5 minutes in the area and I was already fighting the urge to puke - couldn't stand the smell of food at all. So there goes my bazaar Ramadan experience for this year sob.

Dizzy
The result from having constant nausea. If it's not to puke, it's like sea waves in my head. Doing chores in the house was a torture - thank God the husband is super rajin.

Heartburn
I think I've been in a constant nausea state that I can't track anymore if it was heartburn or my stomach acid wanting to get out (and eventually did). But the husband has been so kind and getting me all the meds I need - and the heartburn med is the only I barely touch; compared to the vomit med.

"And now, my youngest daughter will be a mother. So big already.."

Sheesh, not helping, Mum. Sob.

I think by now you'd know I'm not much of a person with maternal instinct in her DNA.

So when I first found out I was pregnant, only God knows what was going through my mind.

Firstly, I was shocked, of course. When people asked about our baby planning when we first got married, I would say I'd rather spend the first year honeymoon-ing with the husband (albeit having been together for 8 years LOL) until we're ready to conceive and have a baby. Maybe 1, 2 years down the road..

His answer, on the other hand,

"As soon as possible, of course!"

And I would siku him telling him to behave. Haha.

But in all seriousness, I always knew he'd say that. My husband, he's already a father - you should've seen his relationship with all his nieces and nephew; and it is one of the things that made me cair in the first place because he's so different from me. He's patient, can tolerate silly things kids do and even the kids love him. The only kids I can stand are my niece and nephew, and even them can drive me to the walls.

So one fateful day, after 5 days missing my period, my husband made a comment about me. It's been a few days that my body temperature had been exceptionally high and he kept asking me if I have a fever, which I don't. I'm very sensitive to any changes to my body, and I knew there's something wrong with my body but couldn't figure out what it is. Then he said,

"Hmm I think you're pregnant"

Completely out of the blue. I didn't register at first when I heard it, so I just dismissed it assuming he was kidding.

The next day, I Googled about my body changes symptoms. There it was, the first search result : pregnancy signs.

In the next few hours, I had a pregnancy stick test in my hands, showing me the clear parallel sign indicating positive result inside my office toilet.


Went home earlier that day, waited for the husband to come home, salam-ed him at the door with an anxious face. I followed him to the bedroom, in my head thinking how on earth do I tell him this when he asked,

"What's wrong? Why are you following me?"

"I'm..pregnant"

Reached out the pregnancy test in my handbag and showed it to him.

His expression was priceless; he was shocked, smiling, disbelief all rolled into one. Then he hugged me and asked me to sit down -_____-"

I was nervous, as I knew how fast things are changing (and going to change. We haven't even received our wedding album yet) and wondering if I'm ready for it yet but when I saw his face, I realized how lucky I am. He's so ready for this and if anything, at least I have a husband by my side who would take care of me better than anyone else.

Then after a few minutes he said to himself, smirking,

"Good job, dude"

...while patting himself in the back. -_____-"

I should just feel lucky, really.

After getting married, one of the first things I asked le husband was where we're celebrating our Eid this Raya.

His reply?

"Of course at your kampung first..I have to be a gentleman and let you have your Raya for our first year together, don't I?"

*beams*

So this year we spent our Raya in Penang!

Mum was ecstatic (he won major points this time around) although she did mention last year she didn't mind haha. Sister was relieved as it's also her turn for Raya this year, which means we get to be in Penang on the first Raya all at once; compared to previous years when there'd always be someone missing.

The catch?

The husband only have fewww annual leave left (AL spent a lot during the wedding and honeymoon) so he had to return to work..on the third of Raya, leaving us only until second Raya to be in Penang.

My AL is also limited (although I have more compared to him) so I decided to follow suit, and return to work on the fourth of Raya. After all, being left alone at home while your husband goes to work isn't really fun.

So, the Raya highlights :

• First half of first Raya was spent at the mosque for solat sunat Raya with Mum, little brother, brother in laws and the husband; while my sisters were left at home with their kids. It was our first Raya being married, and he actually woke up earlier than me to have early breakfast with Mum, who's always up before everyone else. He won more points LOL.
• Took him to my Dad's grave for the second time - the first time we went to visit was after the wedding. A remarkable event for me.
• In terms of domestic skill development, the day before Raya my sister and I made ketupat daun palas - from scratch! My first time ever. Took the learning lesson from Google. Turned out awesome and husband-approved.
• Second half of first Raya was spent visiting relatives' houses nearby. Got a bit weird when everyone started pointing fingers at him, asking "who's this fella" hahaha. He was a star!
• One of my relatives told Mum "he's a keeper, this one" when she saw him cleaning up the table. I chose not to tell him, but this post defeats the purpose.
• First half of second Raya was spent at home, receiving visitors. 
• Headed to my Aunt's house on second half of second Raya in Kedah, ate and spent some time there before finally heading back to KL in the evening. Reached KL at 11 pm, traffic was unpredictable as usual.

Not bad for our first Raya together. Only this time, it was quite amusing as I've gotten pregnant and we get to have a lot of conversations like this;

"So dah berisi belum?"

"Dah!"

And the person would be left dumb-founded, probably not expecting that positive answer haha.

All in all, it was a memorable first Raya for us.