Tuesday, December 10, 2019

This year thus far

Oh, hello there.

Can’t believe my last post was nearly one year ago WOW #suchagoodblogger #not

But I remember sometime this year someone asked me why I’ve been so quiet on the blog platform. I naturally replied,

“I think because I’ve grown into a different person who doesn’t really want to share so much. Life is hectic, yes, but it’s more to I’ve been subconsciously wanting to keep a separate life from social media”

Heck, I don’t even know where that comes from. I mean yes reading the archive sent me into a cringe fiasco (why DID I wrote that?? For public to read??) but shying away from social media is totally not me HAHA.

Anyway. I did privatized my Instagram account for a while, so maybe I had that inside of me..

Life, to be honest, has been good. Work has been even more challenging than ever; starting this year I made a pact with myself to finally finish my Master’s – I’ve been writing my never-ending thesis like a mad woman last year and sacrificing my weekends for it and this year, I just wanted it to be done. And you know I’m quite stubborn like that.

Finally submitted my thesis yay!

Also, work has been sending me off to UTP so frequently that I had to leave the boys for much longer than before. If before I was not used to leaving them more than 2 nights in a row, this time I even left them for the whole week – coming back to them only on Friday night at 9 pm was a norm at one point.

*pulls hair

You know when people say as a working mom you can’t have it all? I truly feel that. I missed them so much and some nights I didn’t even get to Facetime them cause I would be at the site till midnight; and the thought of them going to bed without seeing me really blows. It’s a constant struggle for me, wanting to excel at my career – I knew I have to step up more than I should because in my case it’s a male-dominated field, heck I’m the only girl in the team – but at the same time I have to sacrifice something that I can’t live without.

But, being a woman, you know how they say we are indestructible? It’s completely true.

Once, I thought I cannot go beyond 2 nights without seeing my boys. Then, when work asked for it, I had to leave them not just 3, but for the whole week – and turned out I could.

At an expense of course, but at least at that moment I knew I could.

So yes, proving the myth that women can do anything.

For the kids, we are set for them to enter a Chinese kindergarten for next year. This year, Rayyan has been attending an Islamic kindergarten specializing in memorizing the Quran; and Alhamdulillah he’s been doing so well, reciting surahs at ease and actually enjoying it. Rafiy on the other hand is still at his nursery and he’s always looking forward to it every morning. This is such a huge achievement considering how much he’s clingy to me.

So for next year, they will be attending the Chinese kindergarten in a bid to try sending them to Chinese school for Standard 1. We both discussed about this and it was actually Shahrul’s idea which I truly support. My late dad wanted me to attend Chinese school too since he was teaching there but when I was in Standard 1 he had to be transferred to a Sekolah Kebangsaan in a rural area to help the poorer kids, so it was one of his dreams that didn’t come true.

So it’s kind of my tribute my late dad – he’d be so happy if he was here seeing his grandkids doing what he was always wanted his daughter to do.

Miss you, Ayah! Even at 32 years old.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

my little monster(a)

A year ago, I wouldn’t even think of having my own garden. Or nursery. Growing plants is just not “in it” for me. Always thought my hands aren’t green enough to grow anything.

Bought several cactuses from countless trips to Cameron Highlands, and starved them to death every. Single. One. Then how am I to keep real, green plants that require special care on everyday basis?!

But. The day has come – couldn’t remember exactly when, but I once we moved into our new place, all I could think of, everyday – we need plants. Pronto. The place is four white walls facing each other, with only neutral colored furnitures – some green would definitely boost up our spirits, I thought.

So I started looking. Started noticing small stores which sell indoor plants, and what price range they’re in. Started noticing others’ houses just so I have a clue on indoor plants deco and care – what types of plants are suitable for limited space, what they need for living, etc.

Then..I found myself getting 3 potty plants, all green and small and innocent. And oh boy was I glad I made that decision! Brought them home, put them on our living room cabinet, sink area and our TV cabinet – they made our home looks a lot homier. They came with limited care needs too, since the soil is a special-made sponge (I don’t know what they call it) and I only need to water them every 3 days.

Sounds easy, but so far 1 had died on me T.T So I bought another one, making sure it hails from the species which require minimal care and can actually live indoor.

Then. I discovered other exotic plants, and came across Monstera.

If you’re not familiar, this is how Monstera looks like. It has unique shape of leaves, hence the many inspirations in design and architecture using its signature leaf shape – once, I couldn’t sleep thinking about that Monstera printed pillow cover, but couldn’t bring my heart to purchase since we already have our own pillow cases.

(Husband would not be amused if he finds out.)

Then a friend told me that she has a friend who sells real plants, one of them – the Monstera plant. Quickly looked at their Instagram account, contacted the founder, asked her about the availability and….

Guys, meet my little monster.

I am beyond happy. Look at the pretty, pretty leaves..


Is this how love feels like? 

My little monster, I promise I will take care of you as good as I can.

Just please, please don’t die on me.

Thursday, October 11, 2018


This year feels horribly fast.

Horrible because you would somehow feel how much time has passed just by looking at your kids.


And now it's Raya already!

OK. So those few sentences was from wayyy back - just a few days after Raya, when I sheepishly thought I finally had some time to write here, before two small kiddos decided to come and drag my arms everywhere.

And now, here I am, months later, attempting to revive the old kindred spirit I think I still have...

Hello guys! Remember me?

What's been up in my life? Well I have been at more places than I should be, hence the silence on this space. Been back and forth between KL and a small city in Perak i.e. Tronoh for my project, and then back and forth again for my Master's, and then back in KL for good again - hopefully that stays longer. Can't imagine having to leave my boys again. Sob.

Rafiy actually got closer to his Daddy and demanded for him to bring him to sleep that first night I came back from UTP. Hurtful much? T.T

Quite busy, but still found some time to update my Instagram story lol. Oh I love this Instagram story thing - probably the only social media hype that worth the attention, IMO.

Am back in KL, but still swamped with work, still have to look after and feed the kids, and a household to maintain - oh, we finally moved! Am yet to show you the new place but let's wait until it's completely done - my ID skills are nowhere near Insta-worthy.

Oh, also if you're following me on Instagram, you'd notice this.

I have a newfound love for instant, pinless tudung.

I KNOW RIGHT?! Never in a million years would I have even thought..

But hey, sometimes change is good.

Let's see if it sticks.

Thursday, June 07, 2018

Mad about skirts

The other day my husband made a comment,

"You wear skirts a lot nowadays"

Which I think is much to his approval, because skirts don't 1) show your bumbum 2) hence, more modest 3) means less jeans for me!

And yes, the shopping spree for skirts means less money in purse too lololol. But what to do, a girl's gotta grow up and woman up, right?

A lot of people say I look more ladylike in skirts. This particular skirt, especially, because of the volume it gives - and got it at such an affordable price too!

(Uniqlo. Heh.)

I love that it feels free-r to move around, twirl, or chase after the boys in skirts. This voluminous skirts, especially because other skirts are just too tight for ma legs to run around.

Next on the shopping list? Pleated skirts. Am hunting high and low for affordable and pretty pieces, so if you know where to get, let me know!

Monday, April 16, 2018

Rayyan gives excuses now

Just some anecdotes we've been getting from Rayyan lately.

Since he's turned 3 years old, it seems like his vocab and speaking skills have increased tremendously.

And unfortunately..so does his excuses.

Case #1

Every night before going to bed, Shahrul would ask Rayyan to clean up and organize his toys which would at this point, be sprawling across our living room i.e. in front of the TV. We have a container box and Rayyan understands that he needs to put back all his toys inside the box at the end of the day.

So usually, usuallyyy when he's in an okay mood, he would oblige. Sometimes, we would need to bribe him with something if he refused. Sometimes, Shahrul would threaten to take away something he values if he refused to do it.

Then one night, suddenly,

Daddy : Rayyan, kemas toys please. Letak dalam box.

Rayyan : Taknak. Rayyan sakit perut...

Complete with clutching his tummy, pretending to be really hurt.

We know for a fact that he's not "sakit perut" at all, and that he was just pretending - but it's the first time that he's bold enough to LIE AT OUR FACES.

I didn't remember how we settled it or how we confronted him, but I think eventually after Daddy's nagging he reluctantly kemas his toys back into the box.

Next time, we ought to keep track of this lie - Rayyan who says he's "sakit perut" whenever he's being asked to do something 😂

Case #2

Similar case to above, but less bold.

Daddy : Rayyan, kemas toys now.

Rayyan : (after pausing, half-heartedly putting his legos into the container box) Tapi Rayyan penat...


Daddy says afterwards that he heard Rayyan but he ignored it, and Rayyan, realizing that his excuse didn't work, continued half-heartedly kemas his toys.

But later when he was at kampung and his Tokmi asked him to kemas his toys, he gave the same excuse too - you should've seen his Tokmi's face😂

Dah pandai bagi alasan dekat Tokmi sekarang ya!!!

Oh well. Guess someone's gonna need intervention on his (lame) excuses soon.

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