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Malaysian in Tokyo. Welcome to my happy space!

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new article on Zalora : dealing with hate

(Took so long because I've actually forgotten about this.)

 Recently, an incident happened to my close friend which inspired me to write this.

She had a falling out with her bff back in high school (also my high school friend). The drama unfolded, right in front of everyone - because of a Facebook post. I felt bad for her mostly, and from my perspective, I could see the characters involved, and from one issue to another, my name (metaphorically speaking, she didn't really mention me) was dragged into the mess too - because I stood up for my close friend.

Now, for one, I've dealt with this before. I've had similar incidents a few years back, and I think that has shaped me into dealing with these hate issues because I realize..the recent incident didn't really affect me. Sure, I was dragged into this super elaborate drama and being slurred hate words by supposedly a high school friend of mine (which maybe not anymore because she removed me from her Facebook friends) didn't really affect me. I just went, meh, I've been in this situation before - what could get worse?

I was called a friend's stealer. Meh.
I was accused of being "gay" back in high school. Because I wanted so badly to befriend a girl. Meh. (I should introduce her to my husband and my kid)
I was accused of wanting so badly to "be her". Meh.

Talking about it now, makes it all seems even less trivial haha. And to think this all happened 12 years after leaving high school -_-

Whatever happens, I've learned that you should just let it go and shrug it off. People would say anything to hurt you; and most of the time, it has nothing to do with you. They just need drama, that's all. So let them be.

I've moved on from this whole incident, and figured if I could pen down something I've learned from this whole drama, it'd be this. (Can't believe my editor accepted the article, I was worried that she might find it too high-school-ish haha) So read, if you've been in the same situation, how do you deal with hate?

How To Deal With Facebook Hate Comments

So you just had a disagreement with a friend last night. The next morning, suddenly you find yourself in the middle of social media frenzy – apparently the “friend” had decided to let the whole world know about your (and hers) dirty laundry online, airing them on multiple Facebook or Twitter statuses, obviously aiming to personally attack you with the whole world as her audience.

You’re upset, of course. Suddenly some friends you once knew are shutting themselves away from you, some are keeping their mouth shut, some are participating in the comments – so much hatred, and all because of one negative status about you – without them knowing the truth.

So what do you do when someone rants ABOUT you?

Or rather – what NOT to do?

1)    Don’t feed the drama. These trolls like drama – and it’s the sole reason they put up the status in the first place. If you’re innocent, you have nothing to be afraid of – so let them rant all they want. One single explanation from you would just stir up many, many more provocative hate comments and there’s no stopping them.

2)    Don’t delete the comments. They can be served as proof (should you need it) in the future.

3)    Lastly, for Heaven’s sake – DON’T respond to them!

Social media is like a curse. You can’t live with it, can’t live WITHOUT it. And one of the good and bad things about Facebook is, everyone is ON it – so the more the drama envelops, the more exposure, the more comments pouring in – slowly, people are bound to see the real color of the person posting the status or hate comments. You don’t have to do anything; just let nature do its course.

The good thing about the drama? Real friends will show themselves to you. You’d suddenly receive a lot of private messages, telling you to keep your head high and not stomp down to him/her level. That you have your good friends’ support, no matter what. Suddenly you’ve gained more good friends; despite losing some. Just remember that if some people are meant to be in your life, they will be. If not, just let it go and move on.

So whatever you do, the important thing to remember is to NOT feed to the negativity. Be professional, use humor (if necessary), and DON’T respond. Take the high road and be the bigger person – eventually the drama will stop and people will forget.


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