SOCIAL MEDIA

Thursday, April 14, 2011

of impending decisions.

Dear World Wide Web,

I'm sorry for neglecting you. It wasn't like I've been running here and there working or making assignments like I used to tell you or anything. I'm terribly sorry.

House is too comfortable for me, to be honest. I spend my day in front of the cruel TV, if not laying down on my ever comfy mattress with a Marian Keyes book attached at my face or in Mum's kitchen, eating my life away. I don't know the outside world anymore. (Honestly, looking at those horrible titles on the newspapers, I don't mind)

And then, come this week. I don't know how and why but I suddenly got this motivation to work on my resume - something I'm not really looking forward to - and aggressively looking for job vacancies all over the country. OK maybe not the whole, but you get what I mean. Despite having a permanent job waiting for me in May, I suddenly realize I want more. Just more.

Please don't accuse me of being ungrateful, you should've seen my colleagues. All eager to go to career fair and all. 

Sometimes I wish things are simpler. It's hard thinking about something you want to do, without adding the factors of money or family or position. I've spent days thinking about where I wanna be, who I wanna be with, what type of job most suits me, which area of engineering I wanna be in. Yes. I'm the over-thinker of the family, thanks.

For heaven's sake. As of May, I'm going to be an engineer in a company. For heaven's sake. How could I not be nervous? How could anyone not be nervous? I have no idea what working life would be like. Why won't Marian Keyes write about a girl working as an engineer in one of her bloody books?
 
I miss studying. I miss calculus. I miss jotting down notes in lectures. I miss not having to think about future - pass your exams, and that's it. Celebrate. I miss the anticipation of waiting for exam results.

Right now, just the thought of not having any transport to go somewhere scares me. I NEED A CAR LIKE RIGHT NOW.

I miss blogging, like I used to. I miss having my boyfriend correcting my grammar and laughing at my mistakes. (no, he's never done that. Seriously.) I miss taking random/pointless pictures of things. I'm sorry that I haven't make blogging my priority, when only God knows how sometimes I just want to be alone and write. I miss taking pictures when I'm out and about, but of late I just don't get the feeling of dressing up when come evening your makeup smeared with sweats (Malaysia is hott) and you feel unstylish as ever.

I miss coming home to a computer with high-speed internet, 24/7. Period.

If only I had a magic ball.

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