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Malaysian in Tokyo. Welcome to my happy space!

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being a mommy
working life

Hello 2021!

 So it is now nearing the end of day 1 of 2021, and I found myself sitting here in my living room writing this first post of this new year. Oh how a year it was, 2020. When I first heard about Wawasan 2020 many years ago, it didn’t occur to me that it will be like what we experienced last year.

So many people reminisced about how the year has changed them. To me, truthfully I don’t think it was the year the changed me - rather I’ve changed for myself.

I used to be that girl who believes in splurging a little for outfits, for the sake of standing out of the crowd. The one who buys more than RM200 worth of scarf a piece, because I believe ‘I value myself more to put a price on a scarf’. But later on, what it truly made me feel was stupid - especially when I found similar scarves using similar materials but priced much lower - it made me question myself, to what exactly did I just spent that money on? It did not made me feel good, it made me feel guilty, it made me feel stupid. So one day I just decided to sell them off (thank God there are some who are into preloved scarves) and gotten some of my money back - and vowed never to be that ignorant again. Then thankfully I found a style which suits me and my needs, so I stick to it until now and it has been more than 2 years of me donning that style, and I’ve never looked back. The best thing about it is, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own ‘skin’ and that style has defined me way better than those overpriced scarves ever did, while only costing me RM15 to RM25 a piece. I’ve never felt so liberated. 

Just like scarves, I love fine garments. I believed that the outfits from high-end stores like Zara and Mango truly live up to their price in terms of quality. Some locally grown brands which belong in the high-end street of Bangsar had also quickly became my staple. But one fine day, I just realized these clothes don’t define me at all. Some are good quality, no doubt, but some are just..I wish I could rewind the time and just stop buying from them. Even how many times I tried to justify, it just didn’t sit right with me that a piece of clothing could cost me that much, and not representing my style at all. So I just stopped buying. Now I go on Shopee a lot to buy clothes, and if the 2018 me hear about this, I’m quite sure she would faint. But the 2020 me? It doesn’t matter if it costs me RM25, as long as I’m comfortable and it represents me, I’m all good.

Started reading a lot of books. Compared to before, I’ve been really slacking on this, so 2020 me must’ve changed to something better in this department!

Me time
Since MCO started, it was quite tricky to get some alone time with the two monkeys at home with me. But later on I find that you make time for it, and that’s the only way to get the precious me time because no one would hand it to you on a plate. So thankful for my husband who’s been so understanding to let me unwind on my own termsπŸ’•πŸ’•

I could go on, but I’d like to keep some for my own privacy. Speaking of, have you seen how big I am now?

Oh yeah, in case you didn’t know, I’m pregnant!

So even how challenging 2020 was, I will always remember that it has brought me this joy❤

P/S: this entry is entirely for my own sanity. I am in no way passing judgement to you if you happen to like the scarves or brand I mentioned above - it is entirely your choice and I’d say if it makes you feel good, go for it. I am just saying for my case, it didn’t so I had to let it go. Do what makes you feel happy!


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