the love of my life.

My sister sent me the Mother's Day celebration pictures. I can't help feeling so left out, not being there to celebrate it with them. And it kills me.

If there's one thing I know I won't trade in for anything, it'd be the love for my family.

When I was young I was accustomed to being the youngest, since my brother came when I was in Standard 2. Or 3, I can't remember. But the age difference didn't affect us in any way, in fact I was closer to my brother for a very long time. My parents had never laid a finger on us, be it my brother or my sisters, we're all treated just the same. Though I was a lot closer to my dad.

Being the Vice Principal of Student Affairs never affected him in teaching his own children; people would say he was dead scary at school but those would be inviting the rolling eyes from us because he had never showed it at home. He was an entirely different person, except when you really messed with him. He would lecture us with his studying advices, but never had I heard him shout or scream at us or his own students. Being a teacher he had a big influence on us especially back then. If you don't get good grades don't ask for anything, it's just the way it is. And I'm glad I was brought up that way, that I turned out to be the person I am now.

When I was in high school it was essential for me to call and hear their voice every day. Yes. Every. Single. Day. Form 1 was the year when for the first time my mum almost fainted looking at the phone bills every month (since I was using reverse-call phone) as I used to call every day; before classes, after classes, after prep, before dinner. If I missed one time, it would kill me to wait till I can hear their voice again. That's how homesick I was, and thankfully my parents didn't even complain instead they just understood my situation being so far away.

I was so spoiled, I know.

In KL I used to stay at my uncle's house, since it's near my school and my cousin was close to my age. For the first time I see how scary it is to have very strict parents; I was having trouble adjusting to it that I always cried to my mum, complaining why did they get treated that way. I felt that it was so inappropriate to educate a child using harsh tone, instead of tegur-ing them the lembut way.

And once, I met a girl, and God only knows how many times I felt like slapping her face. She was rude to her mum, even when on the phone she could go scream at her poor mother and accusing her things, the attitude I can't even bring myself to think a child could possibly do. Thank God I've never met her ever again after that, I don't think I can handle a person like that.

I don't think many of us realize how much our parents' existence meant to us. Even how far you go, how much older you've become, how long you didn't talk to your mum, how far you've drifted apart; once in a while a call to home is necessary, if not a must. When you feel like everything's wrong, call home. Call your parents. Sometimes a bit of their forgiveness can really mend everything. Sometimes that's all you need. Everytime I have exams, I'd call home and tell my mum and she would ask for my exam details(place, time etc) and on that day at the exact time I'm supposed to have my paper, even if she's at her office she would go to the praying room; praying and reciting Quran for me. She'd do that for every one of us, every day I have my papers, and even I myself can't do that for my ownself.

That's how much our parents love us, and if we can't appreciate it, I don't know how else God would be mad at us. Just remember that they're the only person on this earth that have our best interest at heart, embrace them and get their blessings, God willing your paths would be much better.

Because once they're gone, you don't know how much time and chance you've lost.


  1. ur best post yet =)

  2. love ur post..really inspires me in some ways..almost made me cry..hehehe..used to cry so much sbb homesick back then in ssp even though rumah sgt la dekat..still happen here even im in UM..the best place to be is still at home, to me~

  3. hehe thanks,its a reminder for me too :)
    same here :) how are u??lama gila tak jmpa!



my brain dump.