Monday, November 08, 2021


So I watched the documentary show on HBO Go recently, titled "Audrey".

I was looking for something to watch when baby girl is finally napping (on her own!), and I managed to convince Rafiy to play his long-abandoned recently-discovered after a grueling affair of spring-cleaning toys, while I took comfort in the sofa, with baby girl on her Nuna beside me.

Then, Audrey was on the "New" section of HBO Go. It has the same picture as the autobiography book cover, I realize, the book I so enjoyed a few years ago when I first discovered it. 

I've always loved Audrey Hepburn, it's no secret if you've read the archive. I grew up in her shadow in terms of Breakfast At Tiffany's posters, her picture calendars, her autobiographies, and just books about her - I'd find and buy all of them whenever I had the chance (or money). My 20-year old me was obsessed with her movies. I think she's perfect in every single way.

So when I watched this documentary, it brought back all those feelings. Those teenage years I spent away from home. It made me realize just how far away my 20s has gone - from the 30s me, in the present day.

It's an overwhelming feeling. Here I am, 34 years old, somehow still obsessing over Audrey Hepburn, or the idea of her. Here I am, married and with 3 kids - still have the same feelings I had a decade ago.

Is that a good thing? Honestly, I'm not sure. But all I can say is that evening I spent at home watching documentary, felt great. Not so great knowing the life my idol had which was so different from what I had in mind, but great that I get to relive those memories of my favorite movies, my favorite looks of her, and the vivid pictures of her I knew by heart.

Some things just never changed.

Friday, April 02, 2021

Third pregnancy so far

 Now entering 37 weeks, and my first post on this third pregnancy - life happens, eh?😂

Don't get me wrong, I love it as much as I do last 2 pregnancies, but having blogged so much about it the last time, I feel like nothing has changed this time.


I feel more lethargic this time around. 

I am easily tired more often.

My morning sickness during the first trimester? It was hell. Even more than the previous 2 pregnancies, that all I could do was basically just lying down all day. And went to bed, like, at 8 pm. Cooking was non-existent cos couldn't stand the smell. Gahhh just reliving the memories makes me sad😖 It really, really wasn't a good time for me that I feel so bad for my husband, having to put up with my condition.

Tummy is so much bigger this time - thank God for WFH cos I don't have to dress up to go to office. Pants can no longer accommodate my tummy, and this time I have more dresses cos that's the comfiest state of self I can be in. 

Hellish morning sickness lasted for 3 months during first trimester, and started getting better once I entered 14 weeks, Alhamdulillah! Then a crazy Grab-ordering phase ensued - ordered so much that I had to sit down, looking at my Grab expenses. Then had to go down to the store and get the groceries cos we definitely can't afford to live on the streets once the baby comes out. Butttt whatever I crave for was fulfilled so far Alhamdulillah.

Been reading a lot this time. Which I hope is a good thing? Discovered e-books and the convenience of it - reading books on the phone without having to lug heavy books around. Managed to finish a lot more books than I ever did last 10 years lol. Maybe I should start book reviews on this blog.

New gynae and hospital for labour cos we moved quite far from our previous hospital. That makes me quite nervous, not having the experience at the new place and doctor who's supposed to deliver my child - but so far everything looks good. The gynae even looked surprise during our first checkup, she said we both looked too young to have a third baby (the two big brothers were not present during the checkup, due to Covid policy). She's soft spoken and nice, which is a stark contrast to my previous gynae who's more laidback and Datin? Haha.

I think that's about it, the major differences this time around. Oh, and having the big brothers hovering over my big tummy every night. Rafiy was quite reserved at first, I think he didn't know how to react to this new change and new baby, but seeing how well Rayyan accepted it, he began to copy his big brother, too. It became sort of like a competition between them too lol. 

Honestly, I can't wait for the baby girl to arrive. Yes, it's a girl, finally! Haha.

In case you've forgotten how I look like, lol.

Saturday, March 06, 2021

Choosing A Luxury Gift for a Special Occasion : A Guide

A few days ago, I was in serious dilemma. It's my husband's birthday today, and I really wanted to give him something he'd treasure especially when he's been such a blessing to me during this third pregnancy - he handles the boys on his own cause this time around, the pregnancy experience hasn't really been a breeze. (more on that later, lol.)

Choosing a gift for someone for a special occasion can be tricky. You want to give them something they will love, yet for it to be a gift they can treasure for many years to come. Dipping your toes into the luxury gift market may seem expensive, especially when the significant other isn't really into expensive things. However, choosing the right gift for the recipient can ultimately be more than a simple present, or should be. It can be an investment for them to keep for many years in the future and even become an heirloom passed down through the family.
Friday, January 01, 2021

Hello 2021!

 So it is now nearing the end of day 1 of 2021, and I found myself sitting here in my living room writing this first post of this new year. Oh how a year it was, 2020. When I first heard about Wawasan 2020 many years ago, it didn’t occur to me that it will be like what we experienced last year.

So many people reminisced about how the year has changed them. To me, truthfully I don’t think it was the year the changed me - rather I’ve changed for myself.

Monday, December 14, 2020

Random stuff on my office desk

Found these pictures in my old abandoned drafts. Pictures of random stuff I put on my office desk, before we had to start WFH due to Covid-19. Of course, these stuff have now safely hidden in my drawers - I cleared most of the stuff before we started WFH so finding these pictures in my draft is bringing me back to those times pre-Covid!

Such memories. Felt like so long ago, being confined in my work cubicle doing my own work 9 to 5.

I put this farewell notes from my degree labmates and lecturers back in Nihon, because they wrote such sweet messages for me haha. If you understand nihongo you can read them - so sweet I can't even. But Japanese are always so teinei anyway. Missing them a little bit more these days.

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