For the past 24 hours, I’ve 

- entertained a guest with her 5-year old at home

- entertained a guest with her kid at Yoyogi Park

- cooked 4 different types of dishes to freeze them for next week, because we have a birthday cake in the freezer and I’m worried that the chicken will go bad unfrozen

- enjoyed a day out with sakura

And to be honest, the last one is actually my proudest achievement haha. We missed sakura season last year because we took it for granted - I told myself there’s always next day to go see sakura and before I knew it the season was gone. 

So decided that this time, we’d just go and see it.

And I know that if I don’t update now, the draft will go down the drain and never the sunlight, ever. So here I am, at 1 am midnight after slaving away in the kitchen cooking, updating this blog with these pretty pretty pictures of sakura.

And I feel accomplished.

 I scroll my IG very differently nowadays.

I feel sorry for myself whenever I see a child is injured, because I couldn’t save them and I can never get the kind of pahala they get. I feel so ashamed that I am healthy, well-fed and under a stable roof where I can seek shelter - while they don’t.

And today I saw a child and a mother lied on the street, after being shot by the army of Netanyahu. They were dead. And people were nearby, they were looking on, and trying to get them off the streets - but when they tried to do so, they were being shot at.

Why is this happening in this time, place and age? How could people not see the genocide happening right inside their social media?

I feel sorry for myself, so I made dua for them and asked for forgiveness from Allah. If only that made me feel better - because nothing would.

I’m so mad at us for not being a stronger nation, for not having a strong leader to help, for not having a voice.

I go to bed with a heavy feeling tonight - that I have a bed to go to.


my brain dump.