I usually call my mom once a week. It didn’t change much from my uni days - back then I would call her after every paper, and once a week when we’re off exam season.

Last week’s conversation had me thinking.

We talked about our health and wellbeing. My mom is blessed with a good health overall alhamdulillah, no major disease, heart as good as new. The only thing is her knee - she had a fell a few years back and has been having trouble sitting with folded knees, etc. 

We had doctors looking at her condition, but the answers are always the same - it’s age. Her knees are lacking some fluids, and since my late grandma had the same condition, it’ probably genetics.

It’s OK. I can still move around and solat and do my chores - it’s not affecting me badly

And then she said,

If one day it’s my time to go, I want to go without burdening my kids - just like your dad. The way he passed away, even though it was sudden, it was not burdening me at all. He didn’t have a prolonged disease, he was just alive one minute, and the second not. I want to be like that.

And I just didn’t know what to say. So it was a long silence.

I’m learning and coping everyday, and I hope to be half the woman my mom is.