the gadget problem

Rayyan is 18 months old now.

And I still say this all the time - I really don't know how parenting works, apart from what I've picked up from my parents or parenting book. And what my guts tell me to do. 

I really don't know if our methods are the right way, or the mediocre way. I don't. Kept telling the husband that we should just follow what our hearts are telling us whenever we're faced with a crossroads - the "should I do or shouldn't I" moments with Rayyan.

But..if there's one moment I've ever felt proud when it comes to parenting, it's this.

The gadget problem.

So everyone we know are experiencing this crossroad - whether or not to give iPads or smartphones to babies/toddlers. Heck, even people closest to us - our siblings are doing this too, mostly. Some colleagues I know even willingly buy the iPad "just for my kid's use when he's bored".

The person closest to me? I have a 5-year old niece, who doesn't seem to be able to part with the iPad my sister gave her. And I remember she used that sentence too, "just for her to play when she's bored".

But for me and Shahrul, we have always resisted giving Rayyan our smartphones for him to watch Youtube/videos etc. I feel pity to the kids who I've seen watching too many videos and concentrating too much on iPad that they'd left looking so oblivious to the outside world - I've seen my niece, up alone in the dark, in the middle of the night, watching her iPad by the bed while her parents was sleeping - it did not seem healthy, to me.

Our childhood was so much better than that, I thought. So I made it a point to Shahrul not to give Rayyan our smartphones, for whatever reason.

Wasn't aware of how much this habit "affected" our kid, until I saw with my own eyes. A few weeks ago, we were at my uncle's house for Raya. He has small kids, just a few years older than Rayyan. I watched them playing at the living room.

Then, one of the kids brought out his iPad. The others, obviously lit up at the presence of the device "Games! Youtube!" they were shouting - at some point even fighting over the iPad. Then, I looked at Rayyan.

He was completely oblivious at that fact, just watching intently at the whole "scenario" happening in front of him and..

He walked away. There were some toy trucks and balls on the floor. He went and took them into his hands - and just continued playing with them. By himself.

It didn't register right there and then to me that he really wasn't interested in the iPad while the other kids were fighting to use it. He was more interested in the toys. It was such a "different" sight, to me - one side, five kids fighting over iPad, and the other side, Rayyan playing with the trucks.

When it finally registers, I couldn't help but feel so..relieved. Not sure if this is the right parenting or not, but that moment, it really does feel right. And I felt so proud of Rayyan for behaving the way he did, that I vowed to buy more toys for him to play haha.

So there, that is one of the proud moments for me to treasure in my parenting experience and out of my 1000th #badmom moments, at least I know I have this to be proud of. I don't know what future holds, and how Rayyan is going to grow up - but it sure feels like a good start to me. He might ask for gadgets later on when he's older (from seeing his other peers playing with one - thankfully the nursery we send him to doesn't allow gadgets) and we will have to work out a solution, but at this moment, both of us are content with letting him grow up without the influence of one.

P/S : this post does not mean I'm judging others who made the choice to give gadgets to their kids - I respect their decision, and every parenting style is different. This is just to share my own experience, from our choice to not let our kid use gadgets.


  1. Aww Nurul. Though I feel like my #badmom moments are overpowering moments like this haha.
    But yes, it's true that kids learn from young. Sometimes I have to reallyy bersabar whenever Rayyan is restless and I thought if only he has the phone, he'd settle down T.T But then the rules are there for a reason! Gotta stick with it :)

    But it totally backfires when he had to take the nebulizer thing - he'd cry bloody murder, even showing videos on our phone won't calm him down haha T.T

  2. I can't believe in this time and age, ada juga parents yg discipline their kids about the gadget thing like u. Kudos to u and husband, u have my respect

    1. Hi RS,

      Youre too kind, thanks :) Though we're still learning, and no method is perfect. I hope we'll persevere through - parenting is hard!



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