Saturday, January 08, 2011

or so i feel.

This week is probably the least busy week I've had, in history of a final year student.

How could it not be? My winter holiday ended last Thursday, so I just began my 2011 lab yesterday. Everyone looked solemn and calm; as though they didn't feel anything about leaving holidays behind. Like it's just another boring day. Well it WAS boring, but I didn't expected them to move on so fast..

That's Japanese for you, I guess. Gotta learn, Atil.

Anyway, we had one of the talks last night. You know, the talk. I guess he's worried that our graduation is getting near, and thinking about me working in Malaysia without him..let's just say, he's worried. Hehe. And then came the question. The multi-millionaire question.

People keep asking me when to get married ever since..I don't know. I always kid around saying as soon as we're graduated, that I'm perfectly capable of being a full-time housewife, etc.(judging from my cooking skills..I think I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE. HAHA.) It's getting more annoying when your besties and family keep pestering you with the question, seriously, so the only thing to get out of it is sarcasm.

So I thought about it, long and hard. Especially after his question last night.

The one thing for sure, I know I have a lot more in front of me, in the upcoming years. I can see more clearly day by day; just how I want my life to be. I've set my goals. I've got a job waiting for me in Malaysia. I'm lucky enough to get a job so near to my home, so I won't have to separate with my family and friends anymore. (I've been away from home since 13..my wardrobe is always the hugee suitcase cause it's more convenient to move place to place) I've worked hard these last 4 years to get a degree from a Japanese university. And now, I still can't believe I'm so close to my finishing point.

But coming to this, I realize - when it comes to marriage and career, women don't really have a choice.

As much as I want to be successful in both, the limit is always there. I know a lot of girls graduated and get married and have to follow their husband abroad (as the husbands are working abroad..a lot of cases I've heard in Japan) so they have to be full-time housewives and forget their career chances. I know it's not their choice, the situation just doesn't allow them to be in both places.

I just don't want to end up like that. I want a lot more in my life. And I know I'm being selfish.


But the thing is, I think this is the first time I've ever been selfish, my entire life.

I don't know how it's gonna be working as an engineer, but I'm excited to know what's waiting for me. It hurts to be apart from him, but at the same time I'm excited to see the new transition in our relationship.


As I'm leaving 2010 behind, I know I'm leaving so many things that made me, me. Because 2011 is going to be different.

Between marriage and career, I chose to not let it be a barrier. We made our decision, and let's just say I'm so lucky to have the most understanding guy by my side. Being a successful career woman is dunya, while being a good wife to her husband is akhirat. And I have yet to strike a balance between both.

6 comments:

  1. deta~
    ennkyori no koto, adovaisu hoshi kai mina cama? ik3


    pre LDR ke kawankawan haha

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  2. hahahaa cess! boleh jgk incik mentor :)) tips onegaishimasu. hehe.

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  3. wahhh u dpt keje kat mana atil??? do tell..hihi

    -aneesa

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  4. kobe steel in penang :) serious tak readyy haha. you?? engineer jgk kan, boleh lah share tips! :D

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  5. "I know a lot of girls graduated and get married and have to follow their husband abroad (as the husbands are working abroad..a lot of cases I've heard in Japan) so they have to be full-time housewives and forget their career chances."
    >>>>>>>>>> who said that you have to be a full-time housewive? u can still cari kerja here in japan right? hehe

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  6. yea, but its not that easy kan nak cari keje dekat kaisha sini after working some place else? kaisha sini kan kene cari awal2 sume.

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