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Malaysian in Tokyo. Welcome to my happy space!

welcome to my blog


being a mommy
working life

shattered glass.

Dear you,

I honestly don't know how to say this. But
from the last couple of days,
I've learnt a lot. Never dream about something impossible. Never give yourself away too much. Save a portion a bit here and there, too.

Cause in times like this, you'll need it. When you feel like there's no one around. You'll need it badly.

It was a mutual feeling, as we described it. It was coming from both sides, though how we hated to admit. I really thought my heart was closed by those words you said, but somehow in time and pace I managed to mend it. I managed to put it behind, though not entirely. But, for a moment, I really felt like there's going to be no room for it anymore.

You could have done it earlier. You could have told me before, before it's getting late. Before it's getting 3 years. But I am to blame, there's no doubt about it. You say you didn't mean to, that it was all coming out wrong, but honey, the damage is done.

I cannot promise things will ever be the same again.

I want to be fair. I want to be civil. Things that happened, all of it is coming from my bad, not yours. But I wish you knew, I never did anything to hurt you.

I'm sorry about all the things I put you through.
I'm sorry for all of your unhappiness.

Now I can only look for the self-esteem I have left, and start the whole process of bringing myself back together. It might be hard, and takes all the time in the world. But I'm fine.
You said let's have faith in this. We've suffered enough. So let's have faith.

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